What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I wish i was in the wii world.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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