I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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