It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the night ended with taco bell and tears
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
