I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
