she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
