i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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