i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
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