So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
