I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
