Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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