I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
