rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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