Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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