Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How does one acquire holy water?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
