HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
