Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
