then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
