i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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