STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I need to calm my uterus...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
