We're facebook friends in real life
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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