well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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