i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
