its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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