just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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