Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
