Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
