made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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