The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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