Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
