He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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