none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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