Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
