It's like God shit irony all over that family
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My vagina is very pro this idea
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
