we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
