Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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