Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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