youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
