haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
