ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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