just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
