its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You were trust falling into bushes
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
