i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
