Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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