Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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