We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
