Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
