There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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