Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
