I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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