Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
