would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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