is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
All I want is dick and wine.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
