we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
