Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
