dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Panties = found
Randomize
