Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
