im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
