first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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