They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize