well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
