I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
