I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
false alarm. still invincible.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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