Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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