He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
