her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Is that strawberry winking at me??
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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