Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
