I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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