Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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