Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Randomize
