my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
