Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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