So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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