This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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