I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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