i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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