well most of my day revolves around power hour
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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