I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
only if we run a train.
done.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Damn victory sex feels great
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
