Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
