is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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